You and your spouse have different preferences on something realistically, you have at least three options.1) You could stubbornly insist until you get your way; 2) You could passively surrender to your spouse’s wishes; 3) Both of you could compromise. A compromise means literally, a settlement of differences by mutual concessions, or an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc…by reciprocal modification of demands. However, it is a combination of contrasting values & practices in order to achieve God’s will (also perceive as ” greater good “) in the spiritual realm. We should acknowledge that for a compromise requires, a following prerequisites: a teamwork (you must put the marriage above personal preferences), an open mind (you have to be honestly open to considering his or her position) & self-sacrifice (both partners are willing to lose something they cherished). What could be the partners attitude during the process?
- start right, Colossians 3: 12 ” Put on therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, a heart of compassion, kindness, lowliness, humility, and perseverance; “
- search for common ground pinpoint where they agree, 1 Corinthians 9: 22 ” To the weak I became as week, that I might gain the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I may by all means save some. “;
- brainstorming with more complex issues, Ecclesiastes 4: 9 ” Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. “;
- be willing to adjust your view, Ephesians 5: 33 ” Nevertheless each of you must also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she respects her husband. “
In the line with that presentation, the Bible provide us with one of the greatest story of compromise related to the ” blessing of Jacob by Isaac his Father in the place of the senior brother Esau ”
Perhaps for Isaac the Father of the two boys (Esau & Jacob), Esau was the one to receive the blessings because he was the elder one, then right heir of the succession (the one to continue the covenant and carry the mission of Abraham into the future) and beneficiary of the prophecy according to the Jewish tradition. However, for Rebekah, the Mother, Esau the first son was disqualified in three grounds: 1) In Genesis 25:23, she heard from God that ” the elder will serve the younger “2) She had watched the twins grow up; Esau was a hunter, a man of violence, she had seen him sell his birthright for a bowl of soup, 3) Esau have married a Hittite woman without the consent of the parents.
Obviously, this situation was after all not just a matter of relationships within the family. It was about God and destiny and spiritual vocation.It was about the future of an entire people since God had repeatedly told Abraham that he would be the ancestor of a great nation who would be a blessing to humanity as a whole. And if Rebekah was right, she was the embodiment of loving kindness; she was not acting out of favoritism or ambition. She was ensuring the blessing, cherishing it and living in the reliable hands, then Jacob was right to follow her instructions.